DRIED OUT BUT NOT DONE

"I have lost my zeal...." That's what my friend said to me the other day when I caught up with him on Facebook. I remember way back when I was 14 and saving money to buy my first surfboard. My dad said, "It's just a passing fad." I kind of raised up in righteous (ha) indignation and said, "I'll never quit surfing." That was 46 years ago and, yes, I still go surfing.

When I first embraced the Christian faith (1971 ish) it was back in the Jesus movement days and I was living in Encinitas, CA (surfing of course). Most of my friends embraced the same faith as I did. When I moved back to FL a year or so later, it was the same--lots of people turning to the Lord. We all communed together and shared our faith and friendship and pursued the Lord Jesus--starting ministries and even churches. As we got older, we started getting married, having kids and, with less time to just hang out, worked and went to church. In that progression a lot of awesome conversions happened and broken lives were restored, fixed up and made a whole lot better..

But as the years passed some of those same folks got unrestored, unfixed, and a whole lot worse and then unmarried. Homes were broken up. Friendships betrayed and fellowship forsaken until it seemed like that the zeal of many had just gotten too cold to sustain life.

There are many reasons, I suppose, for zeal to grow cold. Planes crash and you lose family members; promises are not kept; a friend sleeps with your spouse; sometimes life just comes at us in so many weird ways we can't deal with it so we just give up. Ever been there?

Circumstances stink. Your job is going no where. What fun you had wound up bringing guilt. So let's talk about giving up. What exactly do you "give up" to renew your life? When you are tired of clinging to God, your creator, lover, provider and redeemer (and much more), what will you move to for a replacement? There just doesn't seem to be one in my estimate. One good friend who started out the Christian life with me got mad because his girlfriend couldn't deal with the way he'd changed and dumped him. So there he was with no girlfriend and mad at God. He returned to eastern meditation and drugs. That cost him 17 years of his life and he (now 36 years later) still bounces around with little direction--at least he gave up the drugs and eastern errors.

Your life keeps moving on, toward its conclusion, and how you finish is important. Times of spiritual dryness are always going to come and, believe it or not, it is sometimes God who brings them to you as a gift from heaven. I better repeat that--IT IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN.

Stress. My neck hurts most of the time (thanks, surfing) so I was reading about relaxing those muscles. But before I could relax, the article said to tighten them as much as possible. So I took a deep breath and tensed my shoulders and neck so hard I turned red and it looked like my eyes were going to pop out. Then it said to let the air out and relax every muscle in the body and experience what it feels like to relax. "Wow, that feels good." And that is the feeling I'm supposed to try and recall so that when I'm all tensed up I can relax.

Dryness. When it comes into my life my prayers go no where and my soul feels like it has been forgotten and my spirit kind of rumbles around with no zeal for God. Hmm, what's going on? Is that the sound of the Holy Spirit walking away? Don't we tend (note the "we") to try and cram stuff into our lives that have no eternal value at all? We get this new gizmo or buy that shiny thing or wander into fantasies about things and people or crave just one more...and then we know what it feels like to be apart from God. The rational thing to do right then is to turn back to God in confession and repentance. We, being unrational, try and fill the void with more of the same stuff that brought the stress in the first place, thinking it will make us feel better.

Prodigal Son. Had it going good at home but decided to take the loot, fill his life with "riotous living" and party until he passed out. When he came to his senses he looked around at the pigs and pig slop and decided that father's house was the place to be. But WHAT IF he came to his senses, looked around at the pigs and slop and decided that with a little pepper and salt that slop would slide right down? Isn't that exactly what many of us do? How about America? And after sliding all that slop into our souls we become dried up and defeated and denied. Oh, not good.

The Prodigal lived a long time in the pen. Married one of the local pig farmer daughters and had kids. He told his kids about his dad but never returned home and the kids never met their Grandfather. The kids grew up and had their own children and their memories of the Prodigal's dad weren't too clear and about all the kids knew about his house was that it was somewhere beyond the mountains. As the generations kept coming and going, Father's house was forgotten completely and the life of eating salted slop was as good as it got and seemed quite satisfactory, thank you.

Let me quote a Monk (Matthew the poor) from his book ORTHODOX PRAYER LIFE, THE INTERIOR WAY:

"Spiritual dryness is not a sign of any kind of failure in a healthy relationship with God. It is only an important phase that the soul has to undergo, which may be regarded as a kind of pruning to prepare the soul for a more advanced spiritual life, not contingent upon psychological incentives or subjective pleasures."

How it all works out is tied to our free will. "Choose you this day whom you will serve." We aren't Calvinized into a life-style we have no control over. God gave us free will so we can choose life or we can choose death. We can choose to give up our passion for the world's goodies or we can choose to eat salty slop. Either way, we all one day stand in front of God and He asks us what we did with those 10 talents He gave us. Life never stops; time keeps on ticking and we keep on walking to the conclusion of our lives and, up ahead in our future, is a meeting with the Lord Jesus.

So if you are feeling a bit dried out and all you see around you are flies and pigs, it's time to return to the One who loves us so dearly, the One who cares so deeply, the One who gave His life and became like us so that we could become like Him. I start with confession (I have a Priest for this) and then repentance. And those times when it's dry all around me and there are no pigs or flies, I simply continue my prayers. I go to God and I make intercession and I offer up worship regardless of how I feel. Dryness just shows me how good God is and what a blessing I have in being His very own unprofitable servant.

Hey, lest I forget. Happy New Year. May 2010 be filled with God's presence in your lives.

DECEIVED & LIED TO--WHAT A BLESSING

Lied to, Deceived--what a blessing!

How could I know? There really was no warning and it all started out so innocently. Who was first?


Probably Jackie. Or maybe it was Jackie. No,that’s not a typo. I’m sure my loving wife had this all thought out, but oh the depths of deception she so deliciously served up.

The other Jackie (T O J ) emailed and said she was going to be in Jacksonville for work and could she come and stay with us a couple of days. “Sure, we’ve always got room for one more in our house.” Glynn and Bum were going to be here at the same time as they were traveling down to Palm Beach. So like I would never expect, they all lied and misled me so that I would have the biggest surprise I’d had in I don’t even know how long.


Right: Leah & Bum

And Nathan joined in to say he was
busy and would be down Sunday
some time because he was shoot-
ing a wedding and couldn’t come by
to see the others staying here.


Left: Bum, Glynn & Nathan

So Saturday afternoon comes along and Glynn and I go out to my deacon’s house to visit a little. He and his wife break out the fruit and some goat cheese & we start chowing down and get to talking and before too long it’s after 2:00 PM. and I get a text message that the Jackies are wanting to hit St. Augustine to do some touristing and I’m to be the tour guide. So we go to the museum for an hour and a half and had a good time looking at stuff and then head on home. When I pulled up to the house there was no where to park because the place is full of cars. I don’t know how the girls did it but they had people at my party that came from all eras of our lives. T O J was my girl friend back



Right: Hula Bob



when I was 14; Tom was a high school surfing buddy that shared my wild days in CA surfing and then coming to Christ; Rick was another surfing pal from our Mobile days and then there were people from our Baptist era; our Priest and Deacon from our Orthodox church; Fr Ted who was so instrumental in sharing the Orthodox faith with us; and of course Glynn and Bum here on loan from Thailand and many others that are so dear and vital to our lives. They dressed me up in the Hawaiian get up and I had more fun than a person should be allowed to have. I had no idea becoming a 60-year-old could be so awesome. What a blessing it was to have all these people with me in one place and how blessed I was that they cared so much to do something so nice for me. It was humbling. So that’s what it’s like to become a senior citizen. But as I’ve always said, “I won’t be ‘old’ until I can no longer paddle out and surf.” By that scale, I’m still in my 30s. And I constantly remind myself that Christ is my future so I’m heading in the right direction regardless of age, health or anything else. Thanks to all of you who showed me so much love.







My Favorite Jackies

Jackie, Bum, Bob and Jackie

Christmas 2009

Merry Christmas...Christ is in our presence!

Time has certainly flow by since we last wrote anything and before it flies completely by I thought it would be good to wish all of you a very blessed Christmas. What joy it was for those shepherds to have their lives invaded by the Angelic host shouting that Christ was born and what joy it is for us to know Him who was unknown for 1000s of years.

I'm writing this to you because Jackie is busy at work with her class of 3-year-olds (God have mercy on her) and I'm once again unemployed. I was again laid off but this time it was not such a shock. I had 2 job offers before I had to leave my last job so I accepted the one I think will be best. Problem is it doesn't start until the end of January. Oh well, guess I'm on funemployment! That's a new term I heard. I'm not sure what it means but it sounds cool.

We continue to live here in Saint Augustine, FL with Leah and our 3 grandsons. It's a bit crowded but we dare not complain with so rich and loving as our Father is and in the way He cares for us. Last night we were putting up the Christmas trees and I took a few photos so here they are...

That would be Leah to the left and Elijah below on the right.
He was having a good time looking at our collection of decorations that have been following us around for the last 37 years. Many are gifts from friends like you and always bring back good memories when we get them out.

Jackie is down there working on the tree too and when it got too late to finish we decided that it would have to wait until another evening to get finished. It's always fun.

The rest of the family eluded the camera so I'll move back to Thanksgiving and show you the rest of us. We went over to Orlando and had our meal together with Nathan and his fiancee, Becka. They plan on getting married next October in Italy. Sounds like a great excuse for Jackie and I to get out again. We'll have to see how that all comes together next year. Don't you wish money wasn't something that always had to be figured in to the adventure equation?

So here's a couple of photos from over at Nathan's place.
Can you see Nathan? That yellow shirt kind of screams for attention and Becka, on his left grabs your eye too. Zach is on the far left and is our oldest grandson. He's the computer genius of the family and writes his own computer games. Jake is the middle man and was at his football game. Leah is always running him to a practice or game of some sort. I don't know how she keeps up, but then I'm not in my 30s like she is. Oh, how the time does fly.




There's Jake now, the student of the year. Besides being a sporty guy he also does OK with his academics. He has already won a 100% scholarship to any State school in Florida. That's one paid for and two to go. Ha.

Thanks to all of you for your friendship. We'll look forward to hearing your Christmas news too. Much love to all...

Bob and Jackie

‘Skeeters, Snakes and Gators

“Oh my!” thought I, that was an alligator that just went running across my path and into the water. “Oh well, at least it ran away from me and not toward me.” And this is how my days are now filled. After a 2-month run at the Assisted Living Home, which I thoroughly enjoyed and loved, I quit and moved back to Anastasia Mosquito Control for work. It’s another 6-month job but I thought it best. Why give up a full-time job for a temporary one? Good question. It wasn’t money, though I sure make a lot more chasing down ravaging mosquitoes. It was all about the schedule. Prior to taking the job, my supervisor and I agreed I would not work on Sundays so Jackie and I could have church and family time. Jackie works Monday - Friday and I worked 6 out of 7 days and as it turned out I was getting a week day off, when Jackie worked, and Sundays on and double shifts on Saturdays. I reminded my supervisor of our agreement a number of times but he just ignored my pleas for no work on Sunday. I finally gave up and left. Reminds me of something that happened in 1983: The weak give up and stay and the strong give up and leave. Think about it.

Bob topless! Scary....

So here I am again, fighting the never-ending fight to rid our county of mosquitoes. Last year I worked in the lab but this year they have put me in a truck full of poison and sent me off into the wilderness to fight on the front lines. It’s so much fun! My days are spent driving around in the hood and in another part of the county known as Big Oak Swamp. In the hood I only have to be aware of where I am in relation to those who might want to do something unkind to me. In the swamp, it’s so thick with vegetation there are areas I can’t even see more than 20 feet ahead or around me with water anywhere from muddy to a couple of feet deep. I have snake boots so I feel like I’m the crocodile hunter (he died, right?) when I’m wading around in the water looking for mosquito larvae (their little cute babies--we called them “wigglers” when were kids). So far I haven’t run across any living snakes but I found about a 6-foot skin of a water moccasin. The alligator? That was kind of strange because I was at a condo complex where there are thick woods all around. I was walking around in the standing water and out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash run across my path. Yep, it was the alligator and he was only about 10 feet from me when our paths crossed but he/she/it was only about 4 feet long and more afraid of me evidently than I was of him. I at least have a 6-foot stick with a cup at the end I use for taking water samples I could swing at him. The stick is a 1/2 inch dowel. Yea, that would last about one swing.

That's not our church but you at least can see what Orthodoxy looks like on the outside.

It's a Sunday afternoon as I type this and it's been a very nice day. We went to church and as usual were blessed by God's presence and the fellowship afterwards over some snacks. How incredible that God would come down to earth and become like us through Jesus so that we could one day become like Him and live in heaven. Our Orthodox conversion continues to grow in depth and beauty week after week. If you know as much about Orthodoxy as I did a couple of years ago, I encourage you to visit one with an open mind. What joy to find home away from home.

As July has come I couldn't help but remember that I will add another year to my count—and what has amazed me is that it will be the 60th year of my life. Jackie was continuing to put stuff away out of the myriad of bins and boxes we have laying around (we moved the first of June) and showed me a box of photos I had taken when I was in Hawaii and CA between 1969 and 1971. Oh my gosh! How my life has changed. The first 20 years were spent in a daze, trying to figure out who I was or something like that. Once I found that out I wasn't too impressed. How many people do you have to hurt before you realize you need help? So the first 20 or so years were spent “doing my own thing” and these last 40 years have been about doing the will of God. Can't say I have been stellar at doing that but I continue and I won't give up. No one else has the words of life—only Jesus. He did say “if you seek (and keep on seeking) and knock (and keep on knocking)” you'll one day end up where you belong. Don't look back and don't stop in your tracks thinking it's good enough where you are. It's only good enough when you hear the words, “Well done good and faithful servant....” “He that endures to the end will be saved.”

So that's the first 60 years. Wonder what the next 60 will be like?

Bob, Jackie and Leah on her birthday and Father's Day. Nathan was busy and couldn't make it over.

BUM & GLYNN & SOME THOUGHTS ON PRAYER

For you who actually took the time to travel over here in response to the email with our new address and photos on it, here's the new photos of Glynn and Bum (sounds like "boom" in Thai). They are here in the States for a few years because her and Glynn are pondering the best way to prepare for taking Christ to Bum's hometown in Thailand. It's a fairly large city with very few Christians--typical of her part of Thailand. They are living in Birmingham right now and praying about their future plans. If you think of them, as you are right now as you read, how about asking God to direct their steps? The first photo is in our house in the kitchen, which leaves much to be desired in the realm of room. I think we have less cabinets and counter space than we had in Thailand and that was crazy enough. We are thankful!

Something quite wonderful about Thai people is their desire to serve--that includes the Buddhist, secularist and Christians. Here's Bum in a typical photo of her doing the dishes and cleaning up. They helped us move into this house and spent all day Saturday packing and preparing the boxes and boxes that had to be carried away. What a blessing.





Our house came with a pool table, which quickly was taken away. On the day all the big and heavy stuff was moved, Leah lined up a bunch of her football buddy coaches and they did all the heavy lifting. Cedric really liked the table so we gave it to him and he was so stoked. We were blessed to give it to him. When he came to take it away it was a riot because he is huge and thought it wouldn't be thaaaaat difficult. Ha. How God can humble the strong. Anyway, there's Bum lining up a shot. She'd never played so it was fun teaching her until she started winning. That was another good reason to get rid of it--that and we needed somewhere to put our furniture.


What about those thoughts on prayer? Thought you'd never ask. About a year and a half ago I was challenged by God to quit fooling around with my life and try and get my body to do what my heart knew was correct. It's an on-going war for sure but I am grateful for the insights God has given me the last few months. The ordeal with moving into this house, job hunting and such provided ample opportunities for failure. God's mercy was enough. I read a book about a saint of the Orthodox church named Nektarios and some of the things he taught me about prayer are well worth sharing with you. So I'll condense them as much as possible and give you the heart of what I've found to be helpful.

"True prayer is undistracted, prolonged, performed with a contrite heart and an alert intellect. The vehicle of prayer is humility and prayer is a manifestation of humility. For being conscious of our own weakness, we invoke the power of God.

Prayer unites one with God, being a divine conversation and spiritual communion with the Being that is most beautiful and highest. Prayer is a forgetting of earthly things, an ascent to heaven. Through prayer we flee to God."
--Saint Nektarios

I don't know how you do when you pray, but when I stood my prayers up to what St. Nektarios had to say in regard to "a forgetting of earthy things, an ascent to heaven," I came up a bit (actually a lot) short. Often I go before the all holy Trinity and bring my list of things and people that have captured my attention. Certainly prayers for others is essential, but sometimes I do it at the expense of remembering that prayer is also an "ascent to heaven," a gathering with the angels and saints of old in heaven to sing the cherubic chorus--"Holy, holy, holy, Lord God immortal...." If you forget to whisper into the ear of your spouse "I love you" it won't be too long before you will be whispering to your pillow or very sorrowful dog who sees your misery and loneliness.

For the last few months I've been reading ORTHODOX PRAYER LIFE by Matthew the Poor. Matthew was a Monk who spent 55 years in his "cell" to get hold of what it means to pray. Of course he did a few other things to and was quite the "voice in the wilderness" to the Orthodox Church in Egypt. One part that captured my attention, along with many others so far, was a short section on being bound to the earth by...let's just read it.

"If we tie a bird with a string he will not be able to fly. If he tries to fly while is tied, his wing will certainly be broken and his body will be bruised. If we afterwards untie him, he will not be able to fly.

How great the number of souls that could fly toward God were they not fastened to the things of this world! It is vain that man should try to ascend toward God while he is bound with the cords of this earth. Even if he managed to release himself from all of them except one (however little or trivial that one is), he cannot live for God. The peril is even greater because of this last bond. For he will try to take off while weighed down heavily by this thing to which he is still bound. The result is that after becoming airborne for a little while and having the illusion that he is heading for God, he is surprised to find that this thing still weights him down as before. He thus falls from his spiritual height and his soul is broken with despair. After repeating this trial, he gives up his passion and enthusiasms for a breakthrough in the spiritual life.

Many are those who, while trying to grow in the life of prayer and worship, suddenly find their progress arrested and apathy overtakes them. They then fall back and recoil. The reason behind the lamentable backsliding may be a hidden cord. It may be a sin or some addiction to a drug or a certain habit. It may be lusting after a worldly pleasure; it may be a hidden quest for fame, honor and vainglory or a sensual love for someone or something in this world. Only one of these impediments is enough to shackle the soul and fetter its movement. It thus cannot enjoy perpetual release in the heaven of prayer or the life of contemplation."

It always saddens me to see someone I know to crash and burn in their spiritual life. I've lost a few very good friends over the years because of just what is described above. They started off strong and everyone was cheering, and the next thing you know they are back doing drugs or simply walking in the stupidity of their former way of doing things. What happened? One small string can keep a bird from soaring in the heavens and one dumb habit can wreak havoc in a person's life. In our lax culture it's not surprising to see "Christians" still dipping into the wells of the world and coming up empty so instead of showing repentance they get a bigger bucket and just keep on dipping. I wonder how long it will take for people who name the name of Christ Jesus to realize that we are called to die to the world and its enticements and get on with allowing the Holy Spirit to purge and cleanse us from all those things we are tied down with? My answer is simple for us. We've embraced the Orthodox church and found that the wells are deep and satisfying. All it takes on our part is to see that we are nothing and Christ is all. To live for Him and to act like Him and to grow and become like Him is what nourishes our souls and hearts.

Oh well, enough rambling for this one. May God bless you richly!

EASTER--TIME TO REPENT AND FORGIVE

The following letter was written by Archbishop Jonah of the Orthodox church. It helped me to focus on what's right as I'm at this very second walking through a situation that causes everything in me to cry out for revenge against one who has wronged us. It's amazing how God knows just what we need at the exact time we need it. I hope it speaks to you as it did to me...


The icon depicts Christ raising Adam and Eve from Hades. The gates of hell can never prevail against the Church and Christ's resurrection guarantees it!


Dearly Beloved in the Lord: Christ is in our midst! Our Church has gone through a tragic and bitter episode in her history. Many souls suffered shipwreck, demoralized by the sins of a few. That is over. But the lingering bitterness and mistrust, resentment and desire for retribution hang over us.


We must heal this, both on an individual as well as corporate level. The only way to do this is repentance, using this season of repentance to make changes in our lives, cleanse our hearts and minds, and embrace the hope that can only be grasped by forgiveness. Unless we forgive others from our hearts, we cannot accept God's forgiveness for our own sins.

Every time we criticize, judge, condemn or despise another person, no matter how gravely he or she may have sinned, we sin equally ourselves. All our self-righteous indignation is all hypocrisy that blinds us to our own sins. The resentment we allow to fester in our hearts gives us over to corruption and evil. We allow ourselves to gossip, and talk about other people, and forget that we condemn ourselves by doing so. It does not matter what another person has done; that is his or her sin. Why do I need to make his sin my own, by my judgment and criticism, and destroy my own life by resentment of someone else? If I fast from foods, St John Chrysostom said, how can I devour my brother by gossip and slander? If we don't eat things that have been slaughtered, why do I murder my brother by character assassination? If I abstain from wine, how can I allow myself to be drunk on my passions of resentment and bitterness? It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but rather what comes out of the mouth and the heart.

It is these things, judgment and criticism, which reveal our piety to be a hypocritical sham. All our self-righteousness is as filthy rags before God, and we only condemn ourselves. The only way of life for us, as Christians, is repentance and forgiveness. We must be "transformed in the renewal of our minds," (the real meaning of "repentance") and forgive those who have offended and sinned against us. Only then can we be free from our resentments, and our souls and lives--and our Church--can be healed.

In short, we have to change our behavior, our words and our thoughts. Let our fasting be accompanied by the refusal to indulge in judgment and criticism of others: gossip, slander, suspicion and innuendo, all that is hateful to God. Let us fast from meat, as we fast from the carnality of hatred and resentment of others, which is the source of our passions, pain and addictions. Let us fast from cheese, as we cut out the bitterness that curdles the joy in our lives, the pure milk of love. Let us fast from eggs, so that the seeds of corruption do not hatch in our souls. Let us fast from oil, so that we do not grease our lips to slander and fry our neighbor. Let us fast from wine, that we might remain sober and watchful, to maintain the purity of our souls, minds and hearts. Let us make this Lent a spiritual fast, so that purified in mind and heart, as well as in body, we might behold the radiant Resurrection of Christ in the reception of the Holy Mysteries at Pascha, but most especially, in the resurrection of our souls. Let corruption be abolished, and let us be loosed from the sins that keep us enslaved.


The only place to start is in our own souls, mindful of our sins, and in a spirit of love and compassion towards our neighbor. Only by the purification of our souls, freed from the guilt of sin and pain of resentment, will we be able to feast with Christ at His Messianic Banquet, illumined by His grace, being made partakers of the eternal Joy of His Kingdom.

QUOTES & THOUGHTS ON PRAYER (AND SOME DANCING)

You can hardly see her, but that's Jackie in the middle, looking out. The "dance" they are doing is aimed at encouraging prayer. Now if you click the video below you might be able to see her but...


















...this is not anywhere near the quality of what the DVD will look like. This came from our "point and shoot" camera.



As you read below, please remember that I'm not there--I'm going that way, but I've got a long bus ride to go and I haven't even gotten to the bus station yet. If you have any comments, encouragement or prayer helps you have found, feel free to share them with me. Thanks.




QUOTES FROM: ORTHODOX PRAYER LIFE--THE INTERIOR WAY

"Prayer does not reach its power and efficacy as an actual communion with God until man is fully aware that his soul is created in God’s image. He should feel that it derives its very being from Him."


"Prayer, then, has become the stance of the soul toward its Maker in and through the awareness of its renewal by the Holy Spirit. In this renewal, the soul recovers through Christ the image of its original sonship that was lost through sin. It henceforth approaches God the Father boldly and at all times in answer to His open invitation. The soul actually becomes a creation ever attracted to its Creator. It is a son who finds no rest except in his Father’s bosom. This rest lies in simultaneously hearing and heeding His Father’s call. Prayer, then, is a mystery forming an integral part of our being and psychic consciousness. Mystically, it is God’s perpetual call within us drawing us toward the fulfillment of the ultimate purpose of our creation: Our union with God."

"According to St. Gregory of Nyssa, prayer is a heart-to-heart talk, forever active on God’s part, forever slow on ours. In fact, both parties call, and both respond. However, the initiative is always God’s: 'I spread out my hands all the day long' (Isa. 65:2). "


"When we respond to God in prayer, we begin down the path that leads us to seeing His greatness. As we see that, we then are confronted with our own sinfulness." My thought: You can’t see how bad you are until you see how holy and good He is. So prayer is initiated by God calling us to Himself and we freely respond. Afterward prayer accomplishes its divine purpose as an act of repentance--we see God’s goodness and our own sinfulness and that results in repentance and leads to purification. That takes us up to the next step, which is humility. We were created for prayer.


"When we quit praying we forfeit the glory of our image and bear no resemblance to God anymore." My thought: We are no longer answering God’s call to draw near and subsequently drift away from Him and that corrupts our whole journey into Theosis. No prayer--no repentance, purity or humility.

When God created us in His image that was His offering of Himself to us. He came to us, drew us near to Him and through prayer we draw near to Him and are changed. His offering was given to us so that we can be totally His and He can be totally ours.


"We are transformed into a spiritual being by giving praise and honor (the fruit of our lips and righteous works) to God. " My thought: In praying, we often ask God for temporal things, needs to be fulfilled. This was foreign in the beginning before the fall of Adam and Eve. Even so, God came to us and made it OK to talk to Him about our temporal needs and concerns.

The foundation of prayer is for us to honor God’s will--”Thy will be done on earth"--not our temporal needs. When we do this we resemble the seraphim in that they continually cry out praise to God--this is their office, their duty but not necessarily their nature. We cry out to God in prayer and this too is an office. Sin may stick all over us as we do this but it is still acceptable to God because the Blood of Christ prevails.


"When addressed to God directly to hallow Him, prayer endows man with holiness and purity. Man's eyes are then opened anew to see, in the Spirit, the Tree of Life, which is Christ: 'This holiness without which no one will see the Lord' (Heb 12:14). So, by pure prayer, man's hand stretches forth in heartfelt repentance to pluck the words of the gospel from the Tree of Life and to eat them at all times. Thus he is renewed and lives, never to die. St Macarius says if we continually and daily persevere in prayer, our love of God, like a flame, will grow brighter and brighter. As a result, we receive from God sanctification."


"God created trees to bear fruit. In the appointed time, fruit grows from them. So, too, we are created to be like a tree. We are to pray, grow and bear fruit. A gardener looks upon a tree with affection but grows it to bear fruit. If it doesn’t bear fruit, it is taken out and replaced. The fruit that a tree bears endears it to the Gardener and it invites Him to water and take care of it. When a tree is unfruitful, it is dug up and replaced."

Lesson from pg 29, 30:
Prayer is like the fruit that comes from a tree. God is the vine dresser (John 15) and He bought us with His blood and suffering and acquired us for His vineyard. Since He planted us, He expects there will be fruit. That was His goal for His suffering, death and resurrection. We need to respond to that in a right, prayerful way.

We now live in a time when the love of many has grown cold. Greed, control and cruelty dominate our world. Mankind now strives to be first, wealthy and supreme over all. It is commonplace “in the world and in the Church alike.”

How do we save ourselves from this plight? We pray of course. We must disassociate ourselves from the world and its corruption. We are to be light and salt in the midst of gross corruption. We do that by taking refuge in prayer, our first and only weapon. Prayer is our reminder that we are God’s own, planted in His Kingdom. He has prepared a better place for us. Prayer reminds us that we aren’t of this world and restrains us from participating in the sin of others. When we are praying, living in remembrance of God, how can we possibly sin against the One we love so dearly? Prayer is an inward light that reveals to us our impurities and failings and drives us to repentance. It saves us from being driven into hell.

God seeks more than believers--He seeks “true worshipers” (Jn 4:23-24). God is truth and Spirit and when we pray we must pray in Spirit and truth to be heard. The beauty of prayer and God seeking prayer from me is that He sets up circumstances and possibilities for its success. In other words, God comes looking for worshipers and makes a way for them to be found by making us needful of Him.

Lesson from pg 34:
Our purpose, our calling in life, is always do those things which bring pleasure to God. To do this we should always keep Jesus at the forefront of our thoughts so that our actions will be guided by Him. If we do this, we can count on Him to hear our prayers and answer them. When we pray God’s will be done, we are in fact praying for our redemption to be brought to full fruition. That is God’s will. What does "full fruition" look like? It looks like men and women who have become Christ like (theosified!). He wills for us to be saved and we will to be in fellowship (prayer) with Him. If we continue to be in prayer, our will soon becomes the will of God.

The person who doesn’t pray can expect nothing from God, especially his salvation. By not praying a person is consigned to doing whatever crosses his mind and that only carries him further and further from God. An unpraying person is motivated by his/her ego. Eventually, he becomes content with the way he is and his ego remains the source for his direction and life-style. Prayerlessness is why Christians are in such a mess.

THE YES WAY

I've been reading a fun and insightful book; one that has challenged me. It's a book about a nameless man that takes place in Russia in the 1860s. He's a Christian wandering around Russia as a Pilgrim seeking God and having many adventures with the goal of figuring out what it means to "pray without ceasing." The name of the book is THE WAY OF A PILGRIM & THE PILGRIM CONTINUES HIS WAY.

In one section I found my Pilgrim friend in the middle of preparation for confession. He thought that since he was going to get things right with God, he'd make a written list of every sin he'd committed since he could remember. I'm guessing this took a while. After getting his list (maybe a book) finished, he came across a Priest who was known as being a wise and helpful counselor. He went to this wise Priest and began confessing his sins. The Priest, being wise and all, rebuked him for bringing up things that God had long ago forgiven and placed under the blood of Christ. He reminded the Pilgrim that what's forgiven is history. About now I'm thinking the Pilgrim is feeling pretty good to be free, but then the Priest said something that knocked the book out of my hand and that's what I want to share with you on my blog. Here's what the Priest said to our Pilgrim:

" You have not disclosed the gravest sins of all. You have not acknowledged nor written down, that you do not love God, that you hate your neighbor, that you do not believe in God's Word and that you are filled with pride and ambition. A whole mass of evil and all our spiritual depravity is in these four sins...."

I had been traveling with the Pilgrim for 145 pages before I met the wise Priest and all along I'd seen nothing that implied the Pilgrim was a man of such character. I'd seen him helping people, giving away his money and time, beaten and robbed and helping those that did it to him later on in the book and all of these things were done from a good heart. As you can imagine, the Pilgrim was taken aback by such a statement and immediately defended himself rather well.

The Priest was not only wise but compassionate. He'd already been through these 4 grievous sins himself and wrote notes that he now shared with others that told of what he'd learned. He called his notes: A CONFESSION WHICH LEADS THE INWARD MAN TO HUMILITY. Then the wise Priest gave the notes to our Pilgrim and we all get to read what he wrote and it was then, as I read, that I realized I was the Pilgrim. Here's an excerpt from the notes:

1) I do not love God. For if I loved God I should be continually thinking about Him with heartfelt joy. Every thought of God wold give me gladness and delight. On the contrary, I much more often and much more eagerly think about earthly things, and thinking about God is labor and dryness. If I loved God, then talking with Him in prayer would be my nourishment and delight and would draw me to unbroken communion with Him. But, on the contrary, I not only find no delight in prayer, but even find it an effort. I struggle with reluctance, I am enfeebled by sloth (laziness) and am ready to occupy myself eagerly with any unimportant trifle, if only it shortens prayer and keeps me from it. My time slips away unnoticed in futile occupations, but when I am occupied with God, when I put myself into His presence every hour seems like a year. If one person loves another, he thinks of him throughout the day without ceasing, he pictures him to himself, he cares for him, and in all circumstances his beloved friend is never out of his thoughts. But I, throughout the day, scarcely set aside even a single hour in which to sink deep down into meditation upon God, to inflame my heart with love of Him, while I eagerly give up 23 hours as fervent offerings to the idols of my passions. I am forward in talk about frivolous matters and things which degrade the spirit; that gives me pleasure. But in the consideration of God I am dry, bored and lazy. Even if I am unwillingly drawn by others into spiritual conversations, I try to shift the subject quickly to one which pleases my desires. I am tirelessly curious about novelties, about civic affairs and political events; I eagerly seek the satisfaction of my love of knowledge in science and art, and in my ways of getting thing I want to possess. But the study of the Law of God, the knowledge of God and of religion, make little impression on me, and satisfy no hunger of my soul. I regard these things not only as a non-essential occupation for a Christian, but in a casual way as a sort of side issue with which I should perhaps occupy my spare time at odd moments. To put it shortly, if love for God is recognized by the keeping of His commandments (If you love me, keep my commandments, says our Lord Jesus Christ), and I not only do not keep them, but even make little attempt to do so, then in absolute truth, the conclusion follows that I do not love God.

2) I do not love my neighbor either. For not only am I unable to make up my mind to lay down my life for his sake (according to the Gospel), but I do not even sacrifice my happiness, well-being and peace for the good of my neighbor. If I did love him as myself, as the Gospel bids, his misfortunes would distress me also, his happiness would bring delight to me too. But, on the contrary, I listen to curious, unhappy stories about my neighbor and I am not distressed; I remain quite undisturbed or, what is still worse, I find a sort of pleasure in them. Bad conduct on the part of my brother I do not cover up with love, but proclaim abroad with censure. His well-being, honor and happiness do not delight me as my own and, as if they were something quite alien to me, give me no feeling of gladness. What is more, they subtly arouse in me feelings of envy or contempt.

3) I have no religious belief (believe in God's Word). Neither in immortality nor in the Gospel. If I were firmly persuaded and believed without doubt that beyond the grave lies eternal life and recompense for the deeds of this life, I should be continually thinking of this. The very idea of immortality would terrify me and I should lead this life as a foreigner who gets ready to enter his native land. On the contrary, I do not even think about eternity, and I regard the end of this earthly life as the limit of my existence. The secret thought nestles within me: Who knows what happens at death? If I say I believe in immortality, then I am speaking about my mind only, and my heart if far removed from a firm conviction about it. That is openly witnessed to by my conduct and my constant care to satisfy the life of the senses. Were the Holy Gospel taken into my heart in faith, as the Word of God, I should be continually occupied with it, I should study it, find delight in it and with deep devotion fix my attention upon it. Wisdom, mercy, love, are hidden in it; it would lead me to happiness, I should find gladness in the study of the Law of God day and night. In it I should find nourishment like my daily bread and my heart would be drawn to the keeping of its laws. Nothing on earth would be strong enough to turn me away from it. On the contrary, if now and again I read or hear the Word of God, yet even so it is only from necessity or from a general knowledge, and approaching it without any very close attention, I find it dull and uninteresting. I usually come to the end of the reading without any profit, only too ready to change over to secular reading in which I take more pleasure and find new and interesting subjects.

4) I am full of pride and sensual self-love. All my actions confirm this. Seeing something good in myself, I want to bring it into view, or to pride myself upon it before other people or inwardly to admire myself for it. Although I display an outward humility, yet I ascribe it all to my own strength and regard myself as superior to others, or at least no worse than they. If I notice a fault in myself, I try to excuse it. I cover it up by saying, 'I am made like that' or 'I am not to blame.' I get angry with those who do not treat me with respect and consider them unable to appreciate the value of people. I brag about my gifts: my failures in any undertaking I regard as a personal insult. I murmur, and I find pleasure in the unhappiness of my enemies. If I strive after anything good it is for the purpose of winning praise, or spiritual self-indulgence, or earthly consolation. In a word, I continually make an idol of myself and render it uninterrupted service, seeking in all things the pleasures of the senses, and nourishment for my sensual passions and lusts.

The wise Priest had obviously been through the ringer. How many know what that actually means? When I was a kid, after you washed your clothes you "ran them through the ringer." The "ringer" was made of two long twirling cylinders with no space between them. We'd slip the end of a piece of wet clothing into the ringer and and they'd get sucked through and the excess water would be rung out. That is what it means to be put through the ringer. That being said, when the Priest saw these 4 things in himself, he was wrung out by God. And when the Pilgrim was confronted with them, he was too. When I read it, it made me do some thinking and repenting. That's about all I'm going to do with this one. If you'd like to read the book you can find used copies here: http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?isbn=0816420696&sts=t&x=33&y=15

I love this little book and trust if you pick one up you'll enjoy it too. Oh, for all my old Protestant friends that are etching crosses over the screen of my blog because I talked about a Priest and confessing to him, fear not. When we go to a Priest to make confession it isn't to ask him for forgiveness, it is to ask him to listen and pray and counsel with us as we confess to God. If you want to keep it entirely honest in your life, quit confessing your sins in private and start confessing them to the same person every couple of months. You'd be amazed what a little accountability will do for you.