...you were born blind. All your life your friends and family told you what the sky, mountains, oceans, colors, people and cities looked like. In your mind you would associate "pictures" with the words. When someone told you the sky was blue today, perhaps in your mind that was a trolley car going down the tracks in San Francisco, rumbling, rolling and ringing down the hills. Not accurate, but no matter--it works for you.
Plato, that old time philosophizer dude, put it this way. All of mankind was tied to poles inside a cave, facing the back wall. Everyday when the sun came up, the pole people saw their shadows and knew beyond a doubt that the dimly lit shadows were indeed what was known as "light." One day, some of the braver folks freed themselves from the poles and went outside to the cave entrance and saw the sun. They were overwhelmed by the brightness and warmth that flooded their senses. They EXPERIENCED the light first hand and were so excited they went back to the pole people and told them what they saw.
The pole people said that they were nuts because everyone knew that the shadows were the reality and they were misled. No matter how hard the sun worshipers tried, they couldn't convince their friends that the true light was outside the cave.
I sometimes wonder if I'm one of the pole people. You see, I've read my Bible for 37 years and formed an opinion of who God is. Some have told me I was misled and some have agreed with me. I've been all around the world a couple of times and carried my perception with me and surrounded myself with those who agree (at least most of the time!). I've told others about "my" God and how He loves, cares, feels, thinks and acts. Those who disagree with me I simply feel sorry for because they are obviously delusional. It couldn't be me that's confused, could it? Don't worry, I haven't denied Christ. All those things I've read in Scripture, they are true and they penetrate my life with wisdom and revelation. Yet there are times I periodically do a check up to see what I believe and why I believe it. I think with the transition from Thailand to America and the uncertainty we are dealing with right now, I'm again asking myself questions that are difficult to answer.
All of what I believe has come to me through my personal study and church affiliations, which have been many. Jackie and I were thinking about that one day and started naming all the churches we've been in. The list is something like this: home groups, 4 Square, charismatic non-denominational, (Bob gets married now), Presbyterian, "shepherding movement," Presbyterian again, Calvary Chapel, 4 Square again, charismatic Anglican, non-denominational charismatic, Lutheran, Baptist...and probably others I can't remember. The reason there's been so many is because we were in YWAM for so many years and moved all over the place, including Hong Kong and Thailand. So, you could say, we've been exposed to about everything the Protestant world has to offer and teach. The discovery I've made is that it seems to go round and round and round and round with new movements that are actually dug up old movements that end about as poorly as they start and leave more people disillusioned and staying at home because they are tired of "church." Does this all sound hopeless to you? Have I lost my mind? If so, where did it go? What if someone else finds it and tries to use it? God help them.
The point of all this rambling is that we love Jesus. We love our lives and we love all that has happened to us over the last 34 years we've been married—even the tragedies and our failures. Jackie and I want more and more to become as Jesus is. We want our friends and those who we pray for to know Him and become like Him. We want to be a part of His Kingdom on earth and we want to be ever filled with His light and life. It takes struggle to do that. And, it means we have to come down off our poles and open our eyes to the sun of righteousness.
Those are just a few random thoughts that pass through my mind in the course of a day. In addition to random thoughts and good books that challenge me (The Mountain of Silence this week), we find ourselves working and going about life in Florida just as you are working and going about life where you are. Jackie enjoys her kids most of the time, though she finds that her HIV/AIDS Thai orphans were much happier and content than the little American jewels she has now. Adjustments. I’m powering along with my job and had 4 out of 5 days off last week because there was no business. That’s not good when you work on a commission basis, but it was good for surfing! Ha.
I had my 58th birthday celebration
and, instead of feeling old and crusty (as my good friend, Chuck of Thailand, likes to call me) I felt more like Star Trek. We who are “old” are boldly going where the young dare not—we are age astronauts, exploring the ever expanding expanses of physical pain and inabilities!To close, let’s just say we are fine. Perhaps a bit confused, perhaps a bit homesick for Thailand and our friends, but boldly going on and anticipating all God has for us as we make our way through yet another adventure. As we go, perhaps you will keep on praying for us and we also love to pray for you so if there are things you’d like someone to join you in praying, let us know. Let us encourage one another—the day draws near.
Blessings on you all from Father above…
Bob and Jackie
